Finding a Home

It has been about two months since I started my latest adventure: a new job. On the one hand, I really can’t say it is new because I’ve been doing the job for months, but only recently could I actually claim the title (and get business cards – woohoo!).

I won’t bore you with the beginnings of this transformation, except to say that emotionally, it took me on a roller coaster ride I wasn’t prepared for. Part of the ride had me trying to find meaning and purpose in the tasks I was doing, hoping that I would not be confronted with those words any employee dreads: “we don’t have any place for you”.

When I thought about my journey, it reminded me of Jacob. Short story on Jacob, he was the “non-favored son”, who ended up trying to find his place in his family line. Originally he tried to do it by manipulation, but eventually tried to do it right. However, even when he did try to do it right he found himself on the outside of where he wanted to be. Jacob was so affected by the path his life had taken, and the fact that he felt like he didn’t have any rights in his own life he ended up wrestling with the angel of God all night…

I won’t let go until you bless me…

People have used this verse out of context as a selfish formula for a life of extravagance, but that was the furthest thing from Jacob’s mind. Jacob wanted restoration – to his uncle and ultimately to his brother. He wanted to get out of the limbo he was experiencing, the desert of his life, and feel the joy of being with those that he could call his own.

I remember the day my new boss told me that I had the job. That day, nothing changed, and yet everything changed. Internally I felt that I finally had a place – I no longer had to try to prove that I could do the job – I had been affirmed. I had been invited into the organization. With that I experienced a feeling of belonging. It was a good feeling. Still is.

There is something special that happens when someone, especially someone you respect and honor affirms you and your place in their life. That person could be a boss, a close friend, a loved one, or maybe someone you are developing a relationship with. That affirmation can happen in many ways – in a hand written letter, like the one I received recently from someone I admire. It could be an opportunity given to participate in something new, or something as simple as a hug. It doesn’t matter so much how they come. What is important is that they do come, and what happens when they do.

Affirming people is more than just words. My boss could have said he liked me and my work and still let me go. Affirming people is an outward demonstration of the other person’s value to you. It is declaring not only that the person is important in general, but that the person is important to me.

Jacob fought all night because he needed affirmation. It could be said that he had been fighting all his life for the affirmation, which is why he was such a brat. What might his life had been if he had been freely given the affirmation that he, and we, so need?

I would bet that I am not the only person who has felt like Jacob, who could benefit from someone giving them a home – a place of belonging. This makes me also think of how I can be that for other people. Because of this, I have started to be more intentional about being affirming to people around me. It is a challenge, but one well worth the effort.

Notable Notables

There are so many people that I have in my life that are affirming, it would take forever to list them. However, I do want to note some that are making it a practice of affirming others:

Estrella Azul – Estrella recently updated her religion as “Love”, which I think is so cool. Not only does she make it a habit of affirming friends and loved ones, but she regularly participates in moreloveletters.com, which, if you don’t know about, you really should. You can see more of Estrella’s work at http://estrella05azul.wordpress.com

Hannah Brencher – founder of moreloveletters.com, Hannah started a movement all designed to bring those with love to give together with those needing love. Hannah’s movement has gotten such notoriety that she has appeared on Ted Talks. If you need to put anything on your bucket list, participating with Hannah in brightening up someone’s life with a love letter needs to be that one thing.

J. Clement Wall – Inspiring people to love, and to love well is a worthy task for anyone, and J does it as well as anyone could. Starting with the Love Project, and moving to A Human Thing, J challenges us to reach out, to challenge ourselves, to love in unconventional ways. J calls forth the best in people, and invites us to do the same in others. You need to be a part of this love phenomenon.

Chris Michaels – Many people have a testimony that comes when everything “gets better”. Chris’ testimony kicked in when everything was going crazy, and fueled a fire in him that is touching many people. “Picked for His Purpose” is bringing the community together to feed the less fortunate by simply allowing Chris and his volunteers to pick and prune people’s fruit trees, and give the fruit away to food banks or anyone in need.  In a short very short time, Chris and crew have donated close to half a ton of fruit, and show no signs of slowing down. You can find out more about Chris at http://chrisamichaels.com, or picked4purpose.org.

Where does the time go?…

I was going through my posts last night as I was doing some cleanup and organizing on Kid Stuph. It was good for a number of reasons. First, it gave me the opportunity to see where I have been, what my mental and emotional state was like, and how my blogging has (ahem) improved. More than that though, it gave me opportunity to look at what I set out to do a year ago, and not lament the fact that I haven’t achieved all of my goals (trust me, that is a vast improvement).

See, as I was going through the posts, I came across my birthday post from last year. In it, I was pretty optimistic that the coming year would be great for me. I “had a feeling”, and it was a good one. Looking back over the past year, I probably should have taken that post and glued it to my eyelids, as there were parts of the year that I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. Then again, looking at it in retrospect, I can’t say that I would be where I am now if I hadn’t gone through some of those difficult times. Do I welcome the hard times? Heck no, but I can appreciate, with Joseph, how God can turn even the worst situations into something beneficial.

So, another year has passed, and I will be adding another number to my age at 6:23 tomorrow morning. More than a number, I want to add something of significance to the coming year. I don’t have to save the world, or hit the lottery or anything like that (although, if anyone has any tips, I’m open :-) ).  I do have my goal of finishing my novel before the calendar year is out, and I took a significant step to map out weekly goals to get me there (this is good for me) and actually put it on my calendar, with reminders and all. The novel, however, is my thing. What I really want to do is make a difference in the lives of people around me. I have been blessed to be able to do that, but I think I want to be more intentional about it. Spending more time with people, making myself available, using my gifts for the benefit of others.

I love having people around me who are doing just that: Hannah Katy and Estrella Azul making the world a better place through love letters. J Clement Wall challenging us to love fiercely through her love project. My daughter Imani Tahira, telling the stories of the hurting, lonely and disenfranchised through dance. The list goes on.

My hope is that this time next year, I will be different. Better. Not better because I have done something to improve myself, but better because I have taken every opportunity to make others better.

Here’s to another year. It will both go slow and fast, but regardless of where it goes, it will be important what I, and we, leave along the path.

Notable Notables

If you want to find a simple way to lift the spirits of people around you, write a love letter. Hannah Katy gives you everything you need to participate: http://www.moreloveletters.com/

Estrella took the love letter idea and decided to touch people that aren’t even expecting it: http://estrella05azul.wordpress.com/2012/07/06/love-lettering-my-world-a-summer-of-love-letters/

J. Clement Wall started a movement, just asking people to be willing to love. Imagine the possibilities: http://www.ahumanthing.net/

Imani Tahira and Tahira the Pure Dance Theatre have become the voice of the voiceless through dance: http://tahirapdt.wordpress.com/

I’ve been tagged! The Lucky 7 Work in progress stuph…

I’ve been seeing a theme in my life this week, having to do with friends and the positive challenge they bring to your life. This post, however is not directly about it, but it does have everything to do with it. See, my friend Estrella tagged me in a writer’s challenge. Here it is in a nutshell:

Now for the rules of this meme:
1. Go to page 77 in your current manuscript
2. Go to line 7
3. Copy down the next seven lines as they are – no cheating
4. Tag 7 other authors (Done on Facebook)

I have two problems with the challenge (well, maybe 3…) 1) I haven’t reached page 77 yet. I’m close, but just not there. 2) I don’t know if I have 7 author friends on Facebook, especially 7 that haven’t been touched by Estrella yet. 3) well, I’m just plain scared, cuz I have so much work to do on it, but hey, what’s a little fear between friends… )

So, I took a page from Kemari Howell, who tagged Estrella, and went to page 7. For those of you who have seen my latest status updates on Twitter and FB, here are your 7 lines:

Clayburn sat down and instead of pulling out the Journal he pulled out a file. He looked around the room, and gave a very strange and abrupt introduction to the meeting.

“This is why I was late.”

Everyone sat there, quiet, still, not knowing what to do or say. James turned to look at the rows and stacks of files behind him. He turned back, and looked closer at the file. Nothing on it, not thick with loads of information, and it was basically new.

“I take it that’s a new case.”

“You probably wouldn’t answer like that if you knew how long I was on the phone for this stupid little file.”

“Well, how bad could it be?”

“Luckily, you don’t have to worry about it. Rodney, this one’s yours. ”

(Geez, everything in me wants to try to explain everything, but I guess that’s the challenge, isn’t it?)

Notable Notables:

Catch Estrella’s 7 here: http://estrella05azul.wordpress.com/2012/03/23/lucky-seven-untitled-wip/

“Self Proclaimed Literary Seamstress” (I love that) Kemari Howell’s 7 is here: http://kemariwrites.blogspot.com/2012/03/lucky-seven-untitled-wip.html

Death of a Good Cut of Meat…

It started so well… good recipe from a well known chef… time on my side, no rush to get ready for work the next day, and the coup de grace, a good cut of meat: 5 lbs of pork shoulder, ready for roasting. It was a challenge I would accept willingly, looking forward to the experience in the kitchen, as I almost always do.

For me, cooking is not a chore. It is an adventure. A wondrous experience… an amalgamation of sights, sounds, smells and tastes, resulting in that unexplained phenomenon that occurs when the first bit of food touches the tastebuds, and they explode with delight. I love cooking so much, I even enjoy shopping for the food. Everything I pick up starts my mind racing… smelling the fresh herbs and vegetables, feeling the texture of the food. It is all too awesome…

I should have read the signs. Things were off from the start, and that should have told me to pull back. To pay a little more attention. Even to question my choice at this dish. Not because it was difficult: far from it. This was by historical standards, fairly easy. Not a lot of ingredients, slow cooking… kinda hard to mess it up. I even took out my camera and snapped pictures of the entire process (had a whole other post all prepared for the end of what I thought was gonna be a wonderful dish… I guess it happens that way sometimes…)

I layed out everything I was going to need, prepared my snacks (yes, I actually buy things to snack on while I am cooking. Usually a nice cheese and salame set), and poured the traditional glass of wine. Did I say that I enjoy cooking? Having swirled the wine in the glass to aerate it, I put it to my nose, and the aroma was acceptable. Deep cleansing breath, then the first sip… hmmm, not what I was expecting. Maybe it just needs to breathe a little more. I’ll let it sit for a bit, then see if it changes (it didn’t…).

I had planned the dinner to hit the table at a certain time, and for those that know me, when I have a time in mind, everything about me is glued to making that time, to the minute (yes, J, I do admit that about myself… I think I may be getting better… not by much though). I had a couple of setbacks early in the process, which told me that I was going to be later than I had originally thought… Sign #2…

Sign #3 was a little harder to define. For me and cooking, when I start the process, whether I have made the dish or not before, I can develop a “mental taste” for the dish. I know what I want when it is done, or at least what I think I should expect from the blend of ingredients. For some reason, I didn’t get that from this recipe. The bad part is, upon considering the various dishes I have made, this was not unlike another “success” I had a few months back. Still, the entire time, the result was going to be a surprise for me. That should have raised beaucoup flags, but I was too caught up in the experience to pay attention to them.

My experience killed a good cut of meat…

At one point, aromas of blended garlic, wine, and italian parsley were wafting through the house. Everything was smelling wonderful. The wine still was not pleasing me, but did go well with the salame and havarti cheese. I had followed the directions to a tee, browned the pork shoulder in what I had that was close to a Dutch Oven (I’m putting that on my birthday wish list), and started the simmering process. Everything was going according to plan.

Sign #4… the “heartbeat”, otherwise known as the aromas from the dish, stopped… I noticed it, realized something was wrong, but couldn’t bring myself to admit it. “Maybe it just needs more time. After all, it’s only been 90 minutes, and it is supposed to slow cook for a good 2 hours…”. I chose to wait it out, but in my gut, I was not feeling good about the outcome.

When the 2 hours were up, I reluctantly removed the lid. Normally, aromas would have been singing and dancing to me, and I would have been able to welcome the dish to the table. Sadly, this was not to be. There was no aroma. No signs of an appetizing meal. It was just a cut of meat surrounded in a sea of other ingredients that had as well lost signs of life.

I tried to save it, increasing the heat, cooking it longer, but it didn’t help.  I was devastated. I get like that when a meal (or anything else) goes south like that. I was actually upset the rest of the night.

The only thing  that consoled me, aside from the salame and cheese, was the fact that I didn’t have to let this failure define me as a cook. It was just one situation that went bad, but from which I will recover. I will even make the dish again, and I’m pretty confident that it will turn out well. This is a growth area for me, for it was always easy for me to define myself by my successes, rather than just on who I am: just a guy who loves to cook. So, very soon, I will be back in the kitchen, snacks and wine in hand, whipping something up that I have never tried before, just because I love it. It’s too bad for that one cut of meat, but never fear… there are others coming that will not suffer that fate

Notable Notables

Lindsay and Jay cooked up something I must try, cuz it looks soooo good. http://funnyloveblog.com/2012/02/10/parmesan-crusted-fish-with-creamy-dill-sauce/

What we believe about ourselves, and other dumb things at Life’s a Stage: http://estrella05azul.wordpress.com/2012/02/22/one-dumb-thing-i-used-to-believe-in-okay-so-maybe-two/

Gina is someone I admire, cuz she makes a point of enjoying her life and experiences to the fullest: http://www.gitanablog.com/

Man Projects…

There is a running joke that men can’t follow directions… no, that’s not really it… Not can’t but won’t. The bad thing is when men are faced with a task that is generally associated as a “man project”, the directions actually promote the stereotype. An intricate task with minimal information. A few pictures, as if that were all that we needed, because Lord knows we aren’t going to spend our time actually reading anything.

I took on the challenge of replacing my stereo in my car. I’ve done it before, so I knew it was not an insurmountable task. I prepared myself, checked out videos, researched forums, and made sure that I would be successful. I even looked at the directions beforehand to make sure there were directions… last thing I wanted to end up with was a hole in my console.

Now, I admit, I didn’t have to look at much in pulling the stereo out (no, I’m not being a stereotypical man… the videos I watched multiple times helped ). However, it does seem to be much easier to dismantle something than it does to build. That’s probably true in so many areas of life… love, relationships, goals… whatever they are, break easier than they fix, and end much more simply than they continue. Percentage-wise, I probably spent 20% of my time dismantling the original stereo, and 80% putting in the new one.

I was feeling pretty confident. Probably too confident. Holding on to the success I have had in the past, I figured it would be a cake walk. Still, I kept the directions, what little there were, close.

Wires… so many wires… taking the console off was easy. Even removing the actual stereo unit came out without incident. Dealing with the wires, however, that was another story. If there was anything that the directions focused on, thank God, it was the wires. The problem was that on one connector, there were too many wires, and on another, there weren’t enough, and the directions only spoke of some, not all of the wires… what was I to do now? Roll the dice? Trust that the extra hanging wires were really not needed? Well, I had no choice… I could only continue to follow the directions in front of me, and hope for the best.

The new unit went in ok, or so I thought. Another problem arose, because the apparatus to hold the actual stereo had more pieces than I needed, and, you guessed it, no instructions on how to handle all the pieces. This was a serious man project challenge. I would love to say I got it right the first time, but it took a few (ok, a lot) attempts to figure out what I didn’t need. That’s ok, right? I have nothing better to do on a Saturday afternoon than to try and try again to get something to work…

Finally, I got it all in, secured, and after a big scare because of a small blown fuse, it is now working. Took much longer than I planned, but it was worth it. Yeah, sure I could have taken it to some professional to put it in, but I wouldn’t have had the joy of figuring out the mystery of  man project directions . I’m not always as good with my hands, say, as my son the repair tech, but every now and then it’s fun doing a stereotypically (no pun intended) “man project”

Notable Notables

One thing I learned growing up with a strong mother, is that there really is nothing men can do that women can’t. For proof, check out Estrella Azul, who is awesome at creating, fixing, and generally all things with her hands (not to mention being a great writer!)

http://estrella05azul.wordpress.com/

Blogcoli…

Some time ago, I was watching a show on the science of taste. In it, they demonstrated that DNA has a lot to do with kids’ like or dislike of certain foods, namely vegetables. They were able to predict with extreme accuracy which kids would hate broccoli, and which would love Brussel Sprouts (I, for one have always been a fan of Brussel Sprouts, and relish the day that I can make them well. That, however is a story for another time).

In the show, they talked about the stress and anxiety that kids that hated vegetables went through, especially when their parents would give them the classic line “eat it, it’s good for you”. Now, I don’t know of any kid who jumps up and down at the sound of those words… in fact, they (and I would venture to say quite a few adults too) run screaming, trying to find a place to hide, because that phrase usually invokes thoughts of horrid taste, pain or loss. Lessons that we would rather learn in other ways… “growing up”, taking it like a man, the list goes on and on.

what does any of this have to do with writing/blogging?

For me, plenty… While my DNA has me as a storyteller, lately, it feels like my DNA has shifted, causing me to have an aversion to writing. I have sat down with every notion of writing something. It didn’t even have to be witty, or breathtaking, just getting into the flow of what has always been natural to me, only to find me running screaming. “Don’t make me “eat” this!”. It wasn’t just on my blog either, but I would go to friends’ sites, and find every excuse to not comment on their posts (“they don’t want to hear me. I have nothing to say”).

It felt like eating broccoli…

I had to do it though. Not for anyone else, but for me. To get back to the “me” that I know I am. So, here I am… eating what is good for me. It doesn’t flow right now like I want it to, but it will.

I was on my friend J’s site, ahumanthing.net, and she was talking about taking a challenge (initially, it was a joke, but she’s good about not letting things go too quickly and seeing opportunity in front of her). Inspiring… it did help me break through the barrier, or at least open the gate a little. Right now, I’ll take that.

So, Kid Stuph will begin to be populated again with Life, Love and Wisdom. It will be a slow progression, but I will get back to my discipline of writing. I’m “eating my blogcoli”… it’s good for me.

Notable Notables:

J’s new site on the wonders of love: http://ahumanthing.net

If you can’t write for yourself, why not join Estrella Azul and write for others? http://estrella05azul.wordpress.com/2012/02/15/writing-love-letters-for-our-adopted-bundle/

1 Pic = 1K Words…

That’s what they say, anyway. For a wordsmith, however I begin to wonder. I think that pictures prompt a thousand words. I see stories in every picture, emotion in every image, expression in each icon.

In any case, I had the off-opportunity to take some pictures of nature today. Each tells its own story, and probably the story is different for each person. That makes it fun. You can put all the stories together and come up with something pretty fantastic.

So, here are some of the pics. Have fun with your story

            

Notable Notables

to see the rest of the pics in the series: http://photobucket.com/tahoe_forest

Laura Bergerol, photo journalist extrordinaire: http://www.timecaptured.net/photoblog/

Estrella Azul’s walk around pics: http://estrella05azul.wordpress.com/2011/08/15/visual-of-my-past-few-weeks/

What can be better than pics of love?  http://zebrasounds.net/the-love-project-view/

Great pic of Suicide Rock: http://twitpic.com/68kjpd See more from Gina at http://gitanablog.com/

Kid Stuph is growing up…

Not really . Just getting a well needed facelift. When I first started the blog, I knew that the format was only going to satisfy me for a short time. I didn’t like the fact that the older format only had a fixed header, and just some of the text and layout was a bit cramped for me. So I had a flash of inspiration today and decided to make changes. I started working on the new layout, and then, it was all about the header. Now to answer the obvious question, yes – that is me in the Frontier Village stocks .

Originally, I was going with a cute pic of Josh when he was young, but I was in a bit of a quandary: Would people assume that it was me? Would it be fair to the rest of my kids? And, would that pic really capture the essence of what the site was about? After all, the site isn’t about children… it’s about kid stuph… What is kid stuph anyway?

That is a complex question to answer, but I think I can summarize it this way. The mind of a child is open, willing to learn, willing to try, capable of enormous amounts of love and has no pretense about giving that love. To a kid, things just make sense. Play time isn’t scheduled – it just is. Friends are friends forever, even after a fight. Forgiveness is a given. Questions are asked without the thought of offending. This is kid stuph…

Kids have to learn who to hate, what groups are better than others, who to shun and how to act better than others. Seems that when we teach kids this way, we forfeit the very wisdom that they naturally have. I teach and train people to run more efficiently, and one of things I do is point out how many very young children do it naturally. We develop bad habits as we grow, and in many cases, have to go back to what we originally were, as kids, to do it right. This is kid stuph…

Belief is kid stuph. Kids believe in God, Santa, Easter Bunny, monsters under the bed, super heroes, loving parents, a good world, and G.I. Joe with a Kung Fu grip. Kids believe they can do and be anything, and that’s just how it is supposed to be. Kids believe that they are right, but that you can be different, and that’s ok. Kids are curious enough about your differences, but not enough to lose you over it.

I think you get the idea. Kid Stuph is about shedding the trappings that keep us bound in a form of adulthood, and learning to embrace simple truths that are truly freeing. Love. Life. Wisdom.

I must give thanks to Estrella Azul, for adding her unique expertise to the banner, doing what I could not. I had just written about doing stuph together, and here it is, exemplified. This, my friends, is Kid Stuph

One Is the Loneliest Number…

My mom’s favorite story of me is when I was very young. I would go into the kitchen, take all of the pots and pans out of the cupboard, climb inside and sit there. I would be there for hours, by myself, in the dark, just chilling out. Every once in a while, she would open the door and ask me if I was ok. I would nod, and she would close the door. As I have grown, I haven’t changed that much. No, I don’t climb into dark cabinets, but I do enjoy my “by myself” time. For me, it’s not really “alone” time, because I do best in that space when I have access to people. If no one is around, the loneliness can become very big and unbearable

I’m kinda weird (ok, very weird), in that I get my energy by being inside myself, but I do it best when I am with people. My sermon prep is usually done, not in a quiet lonely place, but in cafes, coffee shops, almost anywhere that people gather. I love people, and love being around them, even if we are not actually dealing with each other. I think I was able to stay in the cupboard so long because I knew my mom was right there, and would give me the right amount of interaction. Connecting with people, even distant connections,  allows me to be “alone” without being lonely… weird, but true…

This year, I think I have been more intentional about being with people. Reconnecting with old friends, and finding new ones. In the process, what is interesting for me, is that I have found that I want to meet more people… this is new for me, but it has proven to be wonderful. The new friends I have made have expanded my knowledge, my emotional capacity, my concept and understanding of the world. Interacting with people is like a fine meal – it satisfies you and makes you want more.

One of the most exciting parts of meeting new people is being invited to be a part of their life. It’s one thing to know who they are from the outside, quite another to hang out with them, have a meal with them, or participate in something that is very near and dear to them. It is creating a masterpiece together, putting each other’s uniqueness into the project, making it something more than you ever imagined. My friend Vic and I get together every now and then, and get a hangar steak dinner at The Tied House. As much as either of us enjoy the meal, we enjoy even more seeing the expression on each other’s face when we take the first bite, and the conversation the ensues from our enjoyment of the meal. Vic started talking to me about a venture he is looking into, and invited me to consider being a part. That blessed and jazzed me to no end, not so much because of the venture, but because it was something I could do with my friend.

I have also been talking to Estrella about guest posting on each other’s site. There is something very intimate about writers sharing their pad. I have had the privilege of guest posting on Fear of Writing a couple times, thanks to my friend and writing coach (in that order) J. Each time I have met someone new, and received good feedback on my submissions (writers can be so cool ). I’m in the process of putting together my post for Estrella’s site, and can’t’ wait to see how it will blend with the wonderful items she already has. The invitation to participate in Estrella’s site has given me inspiration to go to my alone place and not be lonely.

Ok, I couldn’t resist… because I love the song, and some of y’all will remember the fashions:

Notable notables

Estrella Azul’s site, “Life’s A Stage” http://estrella05azul.wordpress.com/

J Clement Wall on “ZebraSounds” http://zebrasounds.net/

Milli Thornton’s “Fear of Writing blog” http://fearofwriting.com/blog

What’s In a Name?

Ever since I was young, I have been intrigued by names. I like different sounding names, unique names, but more than anything, I like the meanings of names. My interest in names didn’t start out all wonderful-like. It was more out of survival.

My parents split when I was 6, and even though I know now it had nothing to do with me, back then, I took it pretty hard. I went from being a fairly well adjusted kid to being someone with a low self image (actually,  that was an understatement). I played it off in a lot of ways, probably cuz I was, and still am, competitive, but internally, I dealt with it every day. One of the things I would do to find balance was to get our family bible and look at the geneaology in the back (it was the only action that bible was getting back then ). I would read the names and the relationships and remember how things used to be. I loved the names, but it wasn’t until I stumbled across something that had the definition of my name that my life changed. It was one of those cards you find at roadside trinket shops that have the names and their meaninngs.  ”Kenneth – meaning: Handsome”. Now, before you start thinking I was getting totally self absorbed, I was only 7 or 8, and until this time, because of the self esteem issues i was dealing with, I had been feeling pretty ugly and unloved. Then to find that my parents named me “handsome”, really rocked my world. This made me curious, so I had to find out what my middle name meant. “David” means beloved. So, here is this kid, no more than 8 years old, feeling ugly and unloved, finding out that his parents named him handsome and loved…

I asked my mom why she named me Kenneth, and whether I was named after anyone. She said no, she just liked the name. For me, that made it even more special. My name was my own, and every time I, or anyone else said it, I heard what I was meant to feel about myself. Even now, I am amazed by how much that affects me, in a good way.

Since then, I have looked deeper into not only my name, but others’ names. It’s been fun seeing people realize just how close they are to the meanings of their names. I’ve even spoken to parents who couldn’t figure out what was “wrong” with their kids. I asked them if they knew the meaning of their kids names, and none of them did. When I told them to look into it, they all came back to me, life changed, because “it all made sense” – all because they knew something new about their kids.

I dug more into my name. Kenneth not only means handsome, but insight, vision, perception. Most people know I am a visionary, a dreamer. Deeper… Kenneth means “born of fire”… yeah, that’s what’s in me…

Earlier today, Estrella asked me what name I preferred, Ken or Kenneth. That’s a good question. Not just for me, but for most people. There are a lot of people that don’t like their names, or identify with the meanings of their names (how is someone who grew up in the city gonna identify with a name that means “from the forest”?). The thing I realized over the years is for some, the name defines them. For others, they define the name. When I hear the name “Judy”, I hear “vibrant”. “Keith”, pastor’s heart. I love to call people by their names, because when I hear their names, I hear what they mean to me.

So what’s a Tall Pajama Man anyway? Ha, yes, there is a meaning even behind this one, but I’ll let you come up with your own meaning for a while, based on what you know about me (if you’re nice, I’ll let you in on the secret, hee hee)

What does your name mean?